Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Fat Bashing

I don't typically post things here that aren't related to my books, but considering that I write books that feature plus sized heroines and that I try to portray women of size in a positive light, I guess fat bashing does apply!

Recenlty, two celebrities whom I actually admire, whose work I've enjoyed over the years tremendously, engaged in a ridiculous word feud on twitter because they have different idealogical viewpoints on certain hot button issues. I'm not even going to touch on those issues because for me, that's not why it was upsetting. It was upsetting that two men who rely on the love, affection and loyalty of their fans in order to stay employed would turn into school yard bullies and attack another person verbally, not for their beliefs, but for their weight. Comments like fatass and go have another bag of doritos were thrown about with fervor and a ferocious glee that should be reserved for middle schoolers without adult supervision.  They did this with no thought to the fact that many of their fans are probably not thin. One of these people in particular has a huge sci fi following and nerds the world over love him. Guess what? I know a lot of nerds and they typically don't spend their time in the gym. No, that is not a stereotype. That is what I know of the people in my life who are self proclaimed nerds. We prefer our action to be cinematic or in game form. So thank you for alienating a good portion of your fan base by essentially shouting from the roof top that in your mind they are less than human. Good on ya!

Since, I'm on a tear, I'm going to continue with all the crap that bugs me about being fat. You'll note very little of it has to do with being fat itself and has more to do with what other people believe about me because I am fat.

People make a lot of assumptions about women and men who are overweight. I'm guilty of them myself at times. It makes me angry AT ME when I realize that I slipped for a second and bought into the stereotypes.

Fact, people are fat for a lot of reasons. It isn't always diet and laziness. Sometimes it's a combination of those things and genetics. In order to be thin, I'd have to be miserable. I'd rather be fat and happy then thin and hungry. I'd also be a raving bitch.

So, yes, I'm fat. I'm not demeaning myself when I say that word. Is it demeaning to say that someone is thin, or tall, or short? No. People interpret that description of myself as demeaning because they associate the word fat with being negative. I've been called fat by other people when it was simply a descriptor and I am A-ok with it. I have also been called fat by people who were attempting to belittle me. Well, you can't belittle me, because for that to happen, I would first have to value your opinion.

It's apparently ok to be every color of the rainbow, every sexual orientation under the sun, political viewpoint, religion… but it's not okay to be a different size. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't buy that. For everyone who wants to shout diversity, how about tossing a little bit of that love and acceptance over here and holding the derision, the assumption that I am too lazy to get off my couch, the general belief that I could lose weight if I wanted to, and that I must be eating my feelings.

Food is a pleasurable thing. Just like a glass of wine. Like a good movie or a great book. Like snuggling in the bed on a cold and rainy day. Like slow, lazy morning sex without a rush to the finish line, or the fast and furious variety where you don't even bother to get totally naked for it! Guess what? I don't deny myself any of those things. Fat people have sex too. And orgasms. They get up, they go to work, they come home, clean house, do chores, and some of them ( like me) go to work on their second job. You can call me fat, you can call me a bitch (and most of the time you'd be right), you can call me anything you want, but if you call me lazy, you'll also be calling the police because you'll find out just what a nut ball, redneck bitch I can be.

I work hard. I work when I'm sick, I work when I am in pain. I hobbled through the grocery store on crutches when I had a torn meniscus and nearly tore the head of the little girl who offered me a "scooter" because I have more pride than sense. My being fat has less to do with what I am doing than with the fact that I was genetically predisposed to glucose intolerance and treated for a health problem as a child with a year of low dose steroids which only exacerbated that and started my slow slide into obesity. Tack polycystic ovary syndrome on to that and add a thyroid issue and what you have is a person who will never be thin. I'd have to be dead and decomposing to reach the ideal weight on those damn BMI charts.

I weighed 250 pounds as a senior in high school. I played soft ball, and basketball. I was too poor for a car so I walked everywhere I went. I was still fat.

So the next time you look at a fat person in the grocery store and do the visual sweep of their cart while thinking to yourself, "No wonder" or the next time you say to a woman, "You have such a pretty face", or the next time you're in the ladies room looking in the mirror at your size six or even size twelve body and say, "Oh, my god, I am so faaat!" while a woman my size or even larger is standing next to you, do everyone a favor and take a big ol' STFU on that.

Love your body. It's the only one you're gonna get. You can't trade it in and you're not getting a refund for giving it back gently used. Live your life and be happy. If that means having an oreo every now and then, have the damn oreo. Realize and believe that what makes you sexy is who you are as a whole. You can have a body like a Victoria's Secret model after photoshop and chicken cutlets, but if you've got a cardboard personality, it won't get you very far. No one wants to be around someone who is so miserable from dieting that they have to feel guilty about everything they put in their mouth, and no one wants to be sitting at dinner with a person who is going to judge every bite they eat.

People come in all colors, and they come in all sizes. So, in short, if you don't like the size of my behind, you don't have to look at it.  Rant done!


  1. LOVE this! And you said nut job, redneck bitch. Loved that too! :)

  2. I am all of those things and more. You can take the girl off the mountain, but she'll be a hillbilly till the day she dies.

  3. Good job Seraphina! Love this and totally agree with every word! Well, ah, I will take your word on the "nut ball, redneck bitch" part, but hey! I am a Nut ball fat Bitch. Notice the capital. Yep! Me. And proud of it! Thank you for sharing!